You are what you say you are...

As a teacher, I just sat through a meeting and listened to a student bash himself several times.

“I’m lazy.”

“I’m not good at that.” 

“I don’t get along with teachers.” 

At first, I wanted to respond “laziness is a choice, not an inherent trait”, but then I remembered… he doesn’t know that. I thought about how self-talk shapes our self-conception.  

This child most likely feels he IS lazy, and therefore acts accordingly.  

As the meeting went on I asked the child to choose the words he said to himself more carefully. 

In the book, “Think Like a Monk.” Jay Shetty reminds us that we should speak to ourselves as we would speak to a loved one. 

Would you walk up to a loved one and say “you are lazy,” or “you’re not good at that?”

No!

We would choose our words more carefully. We may say something like “you need proper motivation,” or “you haven’t learned that yet.” 

Why is this any different when we speak to ourselves? 

What I realized during this meeting is the only difference between this student and myself, is that I just don’t say my self-talk out loud.  But truth be told, I am not any kinder to myself than he was to himself.  

You are what you say you are.

This is the season of sharing and giving, but I’m going to ask you to give a little to yourself.  Take a moment every day to share some kind words.  

Lately, I’ve been doing some journaling in the morning to start my day on the right foot.  

One of my practices is to write “I am” statements. 

“I am strong.” 

“I am kind.” 

“I am inspired to pass on joy and compassion.”

I ask you to try this exercise on for yourself.  Fill your cup with love and compassion, so you’ll be more likely to spill it out on to others. 

I would love to hear your “I am” statement.  

Please share below. 

If you are struggling to find some kind words to say to yourself, please reach out.  I’d love to help you reframe the things you currently are saying. 

In love and health,