Release Mom Guilt and Be Free

I’m waiting in carline.

Marshmello is playing in the background while I do a run down in my head of all the things we need to get done this afternoon…

Catcher (my oldest son) needs new cleats, we need to get a birthday present at Target, and while I’m there I better grab snacks for this weekend’s baseball tournament. 

As I’m pulling up to the curb, excited to see some smiling faces, my heart drops as Finn (my youngest) approaches the car with tears.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”  runs through my head.

 Now I’m anxious to get him in the car for the explanation, when I see his teacher walking with him. 

Oh boy.

“Finn is upset because he missed out on the trip to the park today.  He didn’t have his permission slip.” She explains with a sympathetic look yet scolding tone

My whole body crumbles into the seat as I mentally picture the blank form on my kitchen counter.

Almost paralyzed in mom guilt, I apologize and greet my son into the car.

Mom guilt.  If you are a mom, I am sure you have experienced this heart wrenching emotion. 

If not, please email me and share your magic ways. 

As mothers, we feel guilty for an infinite number of things.  Forgotten school signatures. Anrgy explosion after a long day.  We bear the burden of all our faults. 

So how do we move on and release ourselves of this weight?

First, acknowledge that WE ARE HUMAN.

Humans make mistakes.

It’s just a fact of life. 

More importantly, mistakes are good for our children to witness. 

By making mistakes we are given the opportunity to evaluate and grow.

Demonstrating this skill in front of our kids is a gift.

Perhaps you are one of those moms who’s crazy organized and doesn’t forget things (again email and enlighten me). 

But you do feel guilty when you go to the gym and put your kids in childcare. 

Or maybe you mustard up the strength to go out for girl’s night only to spend the whole evening filled with anxiety.

Well sister, here is a fact.

Self-care is non-negotiable. 

We can’t show up for others when we are running on empty.

So, to all you moms out there carrying the weight of your mom guilt, I say PUT THAT SHIT DOWN.  You will make more mistakes and you must take time for yourself.  These things make you a better parent.

Now while the story above is not completely accurate (embellished for entertainment purposes), I have forgotten signature, lunches, practices, birthday parties and equipment.  My kid was the one on stage in t-shirt and shorts at the fancy holiday recital.  And this health coach has fed her children cereal for dinner.  These are all actions/ behavior that I did or engaged in.  While I am not proud of them, they do not define who I am. 

Brene Brown speaks about the difference between guilt and shame in her TED talk.  She explains that guilt is the focus on behavior.  Shame is the focus on self. 

By sharing my BEHAVIORS, I can keep the focus off me and my self-worth and highlight the actions I took. 

More so, by sharing I have now reminded you that you are not the only one who makes mistakes. 

Now it’s your turn, share your story of mom guilt.

Be brave. 

Comment and share it loud and proud. 

Remember, “You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” -Maxwell Maltz

In love and health,

Meghan