What You Actually Need to Do to Find Peace in Your Pain
Sandy lays on her closet floor and sobs.
She was just let go from her job, recently separated from her husband, and her son had been sent home from school the day before for starting a fight.
Feeling defeated she sank into the carpet, hoping it would swallow her whole… only to return her when the chaos was over.
“I’m so alone,” she bawls.
Melissa, Sandy’s neighbor, had just received news that her brother was back in rehab. As she put down the phone, a wave of guilt and sadness overcame her. Why should she be healthy and her brother so sick? If only he knew what an amazing person he was when he was well. Sitting at the kitchen table she feels the tears burn down her cheeks and watches them fall to her lap.
“Why is this happening?” she questions with anger and despair.
Knowing that the kids will be home from school soon, Melissa and Sandy work to regain their composure. They clean up their faces, take a deep breath, and head to the mailbox for some fresh air and a sense of accomplishment.
Halfway there, each woman notices the other. Realizing there is no turning back without being rude, they stay the course, stuff their feels, and put on their smiles.
“Hi Sandy,” Melissa mustards up.
“Hey, how’s it going? “Sandy replies trying to hide her emotional exhaustion and false joy… but then, as she gets closer, she realizes that Melissa’s eyes look sad and red.
“Oh, things are good. Just waiting for the kids to get home, you know, busy afternoon…” Melissa diverts her eyes.
With fear and bravery in heart, Sandy trudges forward into the unknown… “Hey, are you ok? You seem down…”
Melissa instantly loses her composure and tears come streaming down her face. “I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear this.”
“No, really it’s ok. I’ve kinda had a rough couple weeks myself, so I’m happy to listen.”
Sandy and Melissa proceed to go back to Sandy’s house and talk over tea.
They share their stories, shed more tears, and find some peace in their pain.
Although neither Sandy nor Melissa had a magic wand that would fix the other’s troubles, they did show up with open hearts and ears.
To their own surprise, they also found that they were not alone. Their stories may differ, but their emotions did not. The journey back to peace would be similar for each woman… straight through the pain with an open heart.
The next time life throws you a curveball that leaves you feeling isolated, alone, and like “no one will understand,” I ask you to work it like Brené Brown and “brave the wilderness.”
Find someone with an open heart and share your story.
Even better, the next time you notice someone who is hiding in pain, provide them with a door to walk through.
They may or may not be ready for your help, and that’s ok. Just leave the door open and they will walk through when they are ready.
The moral of this story is that everyone has shit that they have to work through.
But, if we can be brave and bare our vulnerability to others, our shit won’t make us feel so shitty.
I know, that was eloquent…
To my Wellpowered Tribe and beyond, I will always leave a door open for you. I am here with an open heart to help you work through your pain.
In love and health,
Meghan