Conquer Your Emotions with This Trick
While it may be true that actions speak louder than words,
Thoughts are the driving force behind all action.
Without our thoughts, we are nothing.
It has been found that an individual can use their thoughts for the unconventional
such as losing weight, creating wealth, and even curing and illness.
But what happens when our thoughts bring us down?
Our thoughts can keep us sedentary, depressed, ruin our relationships, and make us sick.
Recently I have been introduced to the concept of Cognitive Distortions and feel it is important to share.
I want to be clear, I am very much a novice when it comes to this information.
However, I hope this will give you good food for thought and possibly encourage you to learn more.
Cognitive Distortions are the thoughts we used to convince ourselves of something that isn’t true.
We use them to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions.
At face value, we believe these thoughts are serve us, but instead they are keep us in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions.
Huh? Whatcha talkin’ about Meghan???
Let me give you an example.
So last week I bought my boys new tablets to use on our road trips this summer.
After some consideration, I opted out of buying the protection plan on them.
They were relatively inexpensive tablets and the protection plan was half the price I paid for the tablet itself.
In true Murphy’s Law fashion, that evening my son cracks the screen of his new tablet.
Instantly I become frustrated and filled with anxiety.
I kept thinking, “I should have gotten the protection plan. How could I be so irresponsible?”
When looking at Cognitive Distortions, this thought is considered a “should” statement.
Meaning it is based on a set of rules I have created on how I and others should behave. When these rules are broken the result is guilt, anger, and frustration.
While this situation appears perfectly normal and harmless as it is common,
The thoughts actually cause much emotional distress.
These thoughts have kept me up at night perseverating over a situation I cannot change leaving me exhausted and more anxious the following day.
Now recognizing the thought and then identifying the Cognitive Distortion is only one part of healing the thought. This is all part of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy process.
While this process is used by many therapists, I don’t believe you need to be in therapy to put this concept to use.
You see,
You are in control of your emotions (my kids hate it when I say this.)
By...
identifying our thoughts
calling out the distortions
determining what’s true or not
And redesigning the thought for future use
...we can control our emotions.
So back to my tablet example…
I was frustrated and feeling guilty that the tablet was broken.
So...
1. I identified the thought as “I should have purchased the protection plan. How could I be so irresponsible?”
2. I recognized that I am “shoulding” all over myself.
3. I weigh the facts for and against my thought.
For: buying the protection plan would have replaced the tablet.
Against: I made the best decision based on the information I had at the time. I had no control over the situation so I am not responsible.
4. I redesigned my thought.
“I made the best decision about the tablet at the time. I had no control over the situation after purchasing and encouraging the boys to be careful, so I am not responsible for the broken tablet.”
Through this process, I have changed my emotional state.
Sure I am still bummed the tablet is broken, but I have gone from feeling guilty and frustrated to just plain bummed.
More importantly, I no longer perseverate over it and have broken the cycle of anxiety.
Utilizing the process can help us shift our perspective in many situations and alleviate emotional distress.
Click here to watch an amazing TEDTalk from Dr. David Burns and learn more about Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
This week’s challenge:
Next time you find yourself under emotional distress, try to identify the thought behind it.
You will be amazed by what you discover.
Comment below and let us know how it goes.
Now, I want to hear your experiences.
Have you used this or something similar to shift your thoughts?
What were the results?
Sharing is caring and we can all benefit when you share your story.
In love and health,
Meghan