A truth that is not for the faint of heart

“You are not alone. I am here with you. Although we are far apart. You’re always in my heart.”

Five years ago today my sister, Mandy, took her life.  Every year on this day, her birthday, and during holidays, friends and family share kind words, thoughts, and memories to honor her and to help us all deal with the grief. 

While I cherish every one of these posts, I choose to honor my sister in a different way today.

I choose to shed some beautiful healing light to the elephant in the room. 

The truth is that my sister was in a lot of pain.  Combined with her body’s susceptibility to addiction, this made for a tragic outcome. 

While it is easier to view Mandy and her circumstances as a rare occurrence or something that happens to others, this is very far from the truth. 

It is more likely that you know, love, or are someone who has an addiction that has greatly impacted your life.

The truth is…

We all have pain.

We all have ways of avoiding this pain. 

We drink, we eat, we run, we gossip, we clean, the list goes on.

The only difference between my sister and myself is a bit of chemistry. 

When Mandy used too much of a substance, her body said “hell yes, let’s do that again.”

When I use too much of a substance, my body says, “what the hell! Don’t ever do that to me again.”  Although after that feeling wears off, and my body stops yelling at me, I usually do it again.

I, like Mandy, have used food, alcohol, and exercise to avoid feeling pain.

And if you’re honest, so have you. 

Here’s the thing. 

This doesn’t make you a bad person, weak, or necessarily even an addict. 

This does makes you human.

In my opinion, what can help break the cycle is not feeling alone. 

Knowing that you are….

not defective for hurting and not dealing with it in the healthiest of ways.

loved and valued for exactly who they are.    

supported if you chose to find a healthier way to deal with the pain.

While I realize this is a HUGE simplification of addiction.  Those who struggle greatly need more than just some understanding. 

This is a start. 

This could be the beginning of someone feeling like they worth the trouble of changing. 

In honor of my sister today, I have chosen to share my truth in hopes that you will do the same. 

If you know someone who is struggling, share some light with them by letting them know that they are not alone. 

I send love to all the aching hearts today.  The most amazing thing we can do with tragedy, is use it to bring light to others.

 In love and health,

Meghan